Mindfulness Meditation Misconceptions

There’s a solid argument that these common misunderstandings keep me employed…here’s an attempt to put myself out of business 🙃.

As you read, you may realize that these instructions are as helpful “off the cushion” so to speak as they are during formal meditation practice. This is why it’s called “practice” afterall 😉.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a practice of awareness. That’s it! Awareness sees clearly and is allowing. It’s the honest, nonjudgmental scribe in the courtroom, not the judge, jury, prosecution, defense, and definitely not the executioner! It neither creates story, grasps, nor is it averse.

What is meditation?

The Tibetan word is “gom” which literally translates, “to become familiar with.”

What is mindfulness meditation?

Mindfulness meditation is a practice of gathering attention to become more familiar with the body-mind-spirit as well as our relationships with others and our environment.

What isn’t mindfulness meditation?

Mindfulness meditation is not a practice of actively clearing the mind (or requiring that), reducing stress or anxiety, becoming happy, etc. It is about noticing and allowing things as they are, be they busy, still, joyful, sad, angry, anxious, etc. and letting them be. It is not a tool or strategy to find peace, happiness, or stillness. It is a practice of learning to be at peace with the way things are versus changing them.

What are the benefits of mindfulness meditation?

With skillful practice, attachment, aversion, and the belief of a separate sense of self can slowly dissolve, resulting in freedom from suffering and deep connection. It’s clinically proven to reduce stress/anxiety and depression as well as increase happiness, compassion, and peace. It can help with sleep, too.

Why “should” I practice mindfulness meditation?

I don’t believe anybody “should” really do anything — if you are curious and would like to understand yourself and others better, you might give it a try. It can bring great happiness, and I believe it heals the world.

Do I have to be Buddhist to practice mindfulness meditation?

Sure don’t! Meditation has been practiced over the millennia by people of likely all faiths, including by many who don’t believe in any particular religion or consider themselves spiritual. Come as you are! It is important to practice in the Buddhist context in which it was originally taught — on top of a foundation of non-harming ethics. From this combination arises wisdom.

How do I practice mindfulness meditation?

Sitting, walking, standing, or lying down…starting with a few deep breaths, letting the breathing return to its natural rhythm (through the nose if comfortable), allowing the gaze to soften or the eyes to close, practicing noticing and allowing sounds, scanning the body to practice noticing and allowing physical sensation, and letting the attention rest on one part of the body (an anchor), typically the breath (if comfortable)...practicing not changing or controlling it ⁠— awareness follows stimulus. Because minds think, thoughts will arise. When you remember the breath, you can gently smile because you are now in the present moment, all there is. The key is developing a gentle resolve to be with the anchor. Not too firm, not too loose.

What if mindfulness (of breath) is unpleasant?

Then stop meditating, and reach out to a trauma-informed meditation teacher (I am, for instance) — this is very important. Around 10% of people may experience difficulty in mindfulness meditation, and without guidance, it can be retraumatizing. And there’s no need to worry — it’s totally possible to navigate this; just, you don’t want to do it on your own.

What if I can’t “feel” my body?

This is totally normal and okay! What if you place your hand on your belly or chest — can you feel that? If so, this is a completely healthy way to practice. It can help to keep the eyes open, too. If doing this you feel sensation in both the hand and belly or chest, I recommend resting the awareness on the belly or chest. If the sensation is just generalized, that’s completely fine. You might also notice the contact between the feet and the ground or the body and the chair.

How often “should” I practice mindfulness meditation?

Daily! But don’t beat yourself up when you miss 🙂 — you can simply hold it in mindfulness, “oh, I missed.” Think bird watcher versus dog trainer.

How long “should” I meditate?

An amount of time you can commit to daily…there’s a clinical threshold at 11 minutes of daily practice that you can work up to. Traditional wisdom understands the brain to have 20 minute cycles that one day might feel supportive. Frequency matters more than volume — I believe 2 minutes daily is more beneficial than 20 minutes a few times a week.

When “should” I meditate, and how do I develop a mindfulness meditation practice?

In the morning, sandwiched in-between 2 existing strong habits you have (like washing the face, brushing the teeth, sipping tea, waking up the kids, walking the dog, etc.).

Where “should” I meditate?

Ideally in a dedicated spot in or around your home; you can create a special place. You can also practice in the bathroom with the fan on, on a park bench, riding the subway or bus, etc.

Do I need silence to meditate?

Nope! Awareness of sound is a great practice.

How do I practice on weekends or on vacation?

When the schedule changes, it’s normal for practice to fall off — you can practicing noticing + allowing that! As well as finding a few moments to practice, maybe in the shower, waiting in line, etc.

How does mindfulness meditation develop awareness?

When we repeat an action (practicing awareness), with the aid of a context cue (typically the breath), and a positive reward (noticing the joy of awareness with a smile, without judgment), habit forms.

How do I stop my mind from wandering!?

You don’t! You practice allowing it. You can label thoughts in categories, as simple as “thinking” or more specifically like “judging”, “planning”, “ruminating”, “excitement”, etc. This is known as “noting”. You can also label a feeling tone of pleasant, unpleasant, or neither (neutral) — this is called “vedana”, feeling tone. I encourage a gentle smile regardless of the feeling tone because awareness (of a feeling) has no judgment. After this, you can return to the anchor. The instruction is to place around 5% of the attention on the noting and 95% on the felt sensation.